Dear You,
Yes the one who is single, the one who might be going away, or the one with your loved one going away, im sorry. No, wait a sec, good for you!
Okay, before you click the next tab on me, hear me out.
I understand, you're dreading the whole LDR thing. I was too years ago. Now? Im actually thankful for it. Yes, I do still love my boyfriend very much and we're very happy together. No, I don't mean the big block of freedom you get, to do whatever you want or the space you have for yourself to grow as an individual. This LDR thing that you're dreading could be the reason why you end up marrying him/or her after all these days apart.
I am gonna be downright honest with you alright. Take a deep breath.
LDR- yes you WILL NOT get to kiss him/her, or hug him/her or hold his hand/her. I know this sucks, but let me get to the good parts or shall I say the better ones.
You will get to miss him/her. I know, you're probably thinking, ' okay she is officially crazy'. No I mean well, really. Its a good thing, because you see a large portion of relationships end due to each lover taking the other for granted. Now, your relationship has this problem minimized to the core without any effort from the both of you. Yes, its true. As cliche as this sounds, "distance makes the heart grow fonder".
You won't be able to tell by his/her face if something is wrong. You learn to really listen to the other person, to the way he/she talks or by the words they use if something is wrong, really listen.
You don't get the lovely interruptions of kisses when talking. Unlike when you're side by side, and you're telling him/her about what 'John' did at work today, the other person is giving you all his/her attention. The communication could not possibly get better than that, could it? You learn so much about the other person, the interests and the not so interesting.
You won't get to see the cute/funny things he/she does that you absolutely love. Lets face it, you won't be able to secretly smile to yourself when he/she has cream on his nose and keeps talking about a serious thought on how people are losing their humanity. However, you learn to gain a new perspective. One that will be with you for the rest of your life. You learn to listen to the way that person speaks, you might actually find a thing or two to be adorable even without seeing him/her. If not, use Facetime or Skype, its not that bad if you have good internet connection.
Free time, is usually no time. Yes, you will both be busy with life. Different schedules, different lifestyles even. Make time. Have a fixed set of time, daily even. The less you speak to one another, the more you'll forget about the other. Get your priorities right, yes your friends will not understand, but then again do they really need to?
At times you will think you're not right for each other. I'm gonna be brutally honest with you here. Distance makes you doubt EVERYTHING. Sometimes even your love for each other, as scary as that sounds. Have faith, love never gives up on you, but its your choice to give up on love.
The quarrels seem so much worse with distance, even if both of you know its exactly the same. If there's time difference, well that b**** just makes things even harder for you. You won't be able to hold his/her hand, to make this better. No trying to make up with kisses. All you have are words. and only words. It strengthens your communication with your lover on so many levels I cannot even begin to explain! You learn. You will learn. One word of advice; solve them before you go to bed, don't go to bed angry. I myself am still learning.
You forget. Your lover forgets. You both are in two separate lives that do not coincide anymore than your phone calls and skype sessions, keep that in mind. Send pictures, loads of them, everyday even. So, he/she remembers.always.
Presents instead of presence? You might miss birthdays, graduations, or even just Valentines' day. Being away means no chivalry or sweet gestures for the women, and no hugs & kisses for the men. Special days make you miss these things even more, send a gift to try to fill that gap for your loved one, it might make their day! As for Valentines' day, even if you're a believer or not, having couples around you, hand in hand with their 'person' and make out scenes all around do not help. Instead, plan a special skype session to make up for it, even possibly have drinks, cheers and talk till you fall in love,again and again.
Being away means really appreciating the person when you're together. Nothing teaches you better about loving the people around you instead of items than this b**** right here.
Being away means always looking forward to being together again. The excitement keeps growing as the days past. Always counting down the number of days until you see that beautiful face again, be it a week, a month or even a year. This means, always having something to look forward to. The feeling when the time actually comes, amazing!
Good luck!
Yours truly, with love.
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